Tatiana Azundris

By popular demand, here's more material from the Silk scarf/latex session. 'nuf said.

For once, we're following up our last installment within the week!

What
Samsonite sleep mask.

Where
Amazon etc.

The Good

• Nose-guard. This mask has an extra fold that goes between nose and eyes intended to keep the light out.
• Toned-down look. More professional-looking than most alternatives when going on a transatlantic flight with colleagues.
• Size adjustable.
• Comes with ear plugs.

The Bad

• It's in anthracite. That's already far better than white, but I prefer black on the inside, just to be on the safe side. This isn't outright bad, but could arguably be better.
• The strap fastens with velcro. If you have short hair, that's fine. Otherwise, you may or may not get your hair stuck in the velcro if you simply wear the mask, but you certainly will if you ever adjust the strap while wearing the mask.
• If the size and shape of your nose aren't what the designers figured they should be, the nose-guard — which otherwise is a great idea — can be irritating and uncomfortable.

Addendum: kikka holds up his own with what looks suspiciously like our Exhibit V.

As announced in the last installment, this time it's about the grim meathook future where it's all about sleep. Or well, that's how the props worked out. In fact, the original concept had a riding crop instead of Iustitia's sword, but wouldn't you know it, there wasn't a crop to be found in the building, and the ostrich feather that was used instead never made it into the final selection. But yeah, it seems a fair enough superheroine concept, Lady Justice, sort of a mix of Iustitia, the Judge from B:TAS, and not a touch of Lady Death!

What
Black silk scarf.

Where
Ye olde sex shoppe — or pretty much anywhere, really.

The Good

• Silk! More pleasant to the touch than most other solutions, even in warm weather.
• Versatile. The more layers you fold in, the higher the opacity.
• One size fits most.
• If your nose tentpoles enough for light to get it, you can simply fold one or two extra layers to include the entirety of it into your little world of darkness. No nose too large, no nose too small!
• Soft for a snug fit; likely won't move when you turn your head on the pillow.
• A good choice even if you're on a budget.

The Bad

• The knot has to go somewhere, and we don't mean "in front," so there's always one side — left, right, or back of the head — that you can't rest on, and chances are that as soon as you've literally tied the knot, that's how you want to rest.
• If you do this while drunk, you might end up tieing your hair into the knot.

… but I love the world!
She's "almost 48." She's unemployed. She's not conventionally pretty. But she has a dream …

You show 'em!

Anyway, they won't let me embed the actual video, so this entry gets a splash image (haha, splash, get it?) instead, and you'll have to go to u-tube to watch it. Like right now.

Also check out how in love the judge looks four minutes in. : )

Wow, just Detox. Not d-tox, or deTox, or even detoXX. Guess the '90s are over.

Take picture of self, GIMP it up.
For extra credit, publish original.

So, beautiful's too easy, eh?
Well, it's not like I didn't rise to the challenge.

Auto-White Balance, Select Foreground, Brightness/Contrast, Make Wonderful

The problem is, this shit is bogus. Like in The Laws of Thermodynamics.

If you don't have a patriarchy-approved body, nothing you do is "pretty." And, you know, you don't get to quit the game. You get dissed for having the audacity of displaying a non-fuckable body in public.

If you do have a P-approved body, you don't get out, either. If you do mainstream pornisation, some men will get off on it. If you do mainstream gross-out, many men will still get off on it. You only get to choose between signifying sex or signifying chicks are dumb sluts (and therefore unthreatening). You do not get to quit the game.

But no worries, 40, 45, 50, something like that, we'll quit the game for ya, and you'll become invisible. Welcome to the Patriarchy.

… she was violently sick.

Take picture of self, GIMP it up.
For extra credit, publish original.

So, beautiful's too easy, eh?
Well, it's not like I didn't rise to the challenge.

Auto-White Balance, Make Wonderful, Layer mode: Burn (black), Layer mode: Soft light (navy), Paint with Light (3 layers)

… but when she was bad, she was better.

Take picture of self, GIMP it up.
For extra credit, publish original.

So, beautiful's too easy, eh?
Well, it's not like I didn't rise to the challenge.

Auto-White Balance, Select foreground, Make Wonderful, Layer mode: Burn (black), Layer mode: Soft light (navy)

Take picture of self, GIMP it up.
For extra credit, publish original.

I don't normally do relays, but hey. If dyfa and Thilde do it, then so can I.

Auto-White Balance, Crop, Brightness/contrast, freehand + fill (to remove background in layer copy)

… I pose with a gun. On the internet.¹

Common wisdom has it that within the week, I'll shoot up my school. Are you ready to pick up the Seven Day Challenge with me?

I knew you were.

It's been a while; I've been out and about like crazy again. Which of course means I once more had need for sleep masks. Today's is, in fact, one of the first ones I ever bought, back before the grim meathook future where it's all about sleep. This is one of the playful ones that was half about sleep …

… and half about, Squeeeeeee! Sleepmask! I'll be like Audrey in "Breakfast at Tiffany's"!

What
Plush sleep mask.

Where
via Amazon.

The Good

• Mmmmmh, fluffy!
• Generously sized. Will probably cover your eyes.
• Soft for a snug fit; likely won't move when you turn your head on the pillow.
• Sufficiently large space for the nose so it doesn't press on it when worn.

The Bad

• It's white. Yes, even on the inside. I mean seriously, what were they thinking? If you open your eyes with the mask on, it's not dark. If that doesn't bother you, go ahead and buy this one, but in that case, you may not need a sleep mask in the first place.
• Size not adjustable. One size fits most (if only just) elastic band. Fit a bit snug for my taste/head.
• Space for nose somewhat large, and thus more likely to let in light.
• Fluffy. You won't be wearing this in the dead of Summer.
• Most men probably wouldn't be very comfortable wearing this in public, say, on a plane. But maybe, I should list this as good: You can signal you're very secure in your sexuality/gender.

When people wear silly things, it's Halloween, or BDSM.

Only sometimes, it's just a weary traveller in search of some sleep …

What
BDSM mask.

Where
Your friendly neighborhood kink-store, or We Fetishize Oppression Wholesale, Ltd.

The Good

• Black on both sides. Opaque.
• Size adjustable (buckle). Long strap.
• Sufficiently large space for the nose so it doesn't press on it when worn.

The Bad

• The leather, of course, is rigid and inflexible. If you turn your head to the side so that mask meets pillow, the mask will not bend, but move — and likely leave the light in.
• Space for nose somewhat large, and thus more likely to let in light.
• Might earn you funny looks on the plane, but may pass for dark sunglasses from a few seats away.

There's a new set of petticoat pictures in the photo section or, like we said on the mailing list, my (goth)rock-star outfit.

Hey now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid …