The bit above is Għana; essentially, ancient Maltesebattlerap. I'm posting this video partially because Malta hasn't been British for quite a while, so using my usual "limeyCat" icon might give offense.
Now, Malta. It's nice and it's warm and most people there speak English. (And Maltese. And a host of other languages.) For all I know, it's not as overrun by yucky and/or lethal critters as Oz. But, there is no divorce legislation and abortion in Malta is illegal., Wikipedia says.
241. (1) Whosoever, by any food, drink, medicine, or by violence, or by any other means whatsoever, shall cause the miscarriage of any woman with child, whether the woman be consenting or not, shall, on conviction, be liable to imprisonment for a term from eighteen months to three years.
(2) The same punishment shall be awarded against any woman who shall procure her own miscarriage, or who shall have consented to the use of the means by which the miscarriage is procured.
So, they'll even prosecute the woman (not just the abortion-provider), if not for murder outright. Fear not though, they also dig into the providers especially in articles 243, 243A.
This bears further investigation, because even if at 45, I seem out of immediate danger of getting pregnant, it's a sad fact that usually, characteristics of women-hating usually travel in droves. (Well that, and it'd be a bit of a Fuck you, I've got mine argument, anyway.) The legal texts show us, aside from such peculiarities as the White Slave Traffic (Suppression) Ordinance being followed by the Potato (Cultivation) Ordinance, this:
198. Whosoever shall, by violence, have carnal knowledge of a person of either sex, shall, on conviction, be liable to imprisonment for a term from three to nine years, with or without solitary confinement.
OK, there's a law against it in the Criminal Code. Good. Not as good as it could be, positing violence rather than lack of consent, of course, and carnal knowledge does not bode well, but at least it clarifies of either sex. (Speaking of sex and sexes, here's LesBiGay rights; thanks, Taleel!) Article 201 tries to partially make up for this though by listing circumstances under which the assumption of violence is automatic, such as when resistance was impossible. (This seems designed to address rohypnol rape and suchlike.) Any further imbalance of power (more than one assailant, assault by officer, assault using weapons, etc.) aggravates the crime (202), and so interestingly does being married or having been married to the victim (202h).
208. (1) Whosoever, for gain, or for distribution, or for display in a public place or in a place accessible to the public, manufactures, prints or otherwise makes, or introduces into Malta, or acquires, keeps, puts in circulation or exports, any pornographic or obscene print, painting, photograph, film, book, card or writing, or any other pornographic or obscene article whatsoever, whether similar to the above or not, shall, on conviction, be liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months or to a fine not exceeding four hundred and sixty-five euro and eighty-seven cents (465.87), or to both such imprisonment and fine.
(2) Whosoever trades in any article mentioned in subarticle (1), even if such trade is clandestine, or distributes any such article or displays any such article in public or in a place accessible to the public, shall, on conviction, be liable to the punishment prescribed in subarticle (1).
They don't like porn. I like! A fine not exceeding €465.87 though? Who comes up with these sums?
As a side note, the CC also recognizes sexual assault as a war crime, and article 197 deals with the illegality of forcing or tricking your family members into prostitution. I'll admit though that the heading for 198ff, of crimes against the peace and honour of families, and against morals raises a bit of a red flag with me though. The honour of families?? Sorry, that sounds a bit too much like honour killings to me, how about self-determination of the individual instead?
Anyway, as prostitution per se goes, a cursory glance seems to imply that while it's illegal, it's — rather stupidly — the selling, not the buying that is prosecuted.
199. (1) Whosoever shall, by violence, abduct any person, with intent to abuse or marry such person, shall, on conviction, be liable, in the first case, to imprisonment for a term from eighteen months to three years, with or without solitary confinement, and, in the second case, to imprisonment for a term from nine to eighteen months.
OK, marriage is bad, but not as bad as other abuse. This is less funny though when you consider that a) there are no divorces, and b) what the prevalence is that necessitated a specific law for this.
Immigrants, even those with EU citizenship, are required to apply for a work permit. This exception to EU law was agreed upon before accession to safeguard the Maltese labour market., and For foreigners work is unfortunately often very hard to find, the Maltese are rather insular and figures show that even in the tourist sector they are very reluctant to hire people not from the island. There is a sense that since joining the EU there is more willingness to hire professionals from abroad as the business sector diversifies.WikiTravel This probably isn't much of a concern as long as I bring my own job, but may make things a tad awkward if I ever lose that job. And seriously, why can you join the EU but then reject the key-feature of it? That seems baffling and annoying. Speaking of EU though, let me point out that Malta (as opposed to, say, Gibraltar) does have the Euro.