< Coincidence? | Aspice quod felis attraxit! >

Tuesday, February 1. 2005

Dumbass metallers

Photo: Dumbass metaller

When I was in school, the music teach taught us thus: There are innumerable sub-genres of metal — heavy metal, black metal, death metal, what-not. You can usually tell them apart by what size amps they have.

Of course, he was being sarcastic — it's not really that easy. In truth, it's more a combination of how many distortion pedals they have, how bad their "singer" is — Cradle of Filth and Subway to Sally come to mind as bands that are lethal unless played through a karaoke system —, and how inane their lyrics are (Blind Guardian are a good example here, as are, once again, Subway to Sally).

But of course, nobody's aware of these things anymore; apparently, they don't teach music like they used to. Kids don't know shit these days, and if you google that, your best match is in fact "kids don't know shit about music" — written by a 15-year-old. Good grief, man! Even teenagers are beginning to see through MTV! Eat your heart out, content industry! Die flaming death, techno rehashes!

Photo: Morn from ST:DS9But that's not all. As this Top 10 of ridiculous black metal pics suggests, it's also key to look like an imbecile. You'd think they'd give King Diamond an honourable mention at least. You'd also think one of these morons would have seized their chance to set up shop in DC Comics' old headquarters on 666 Fifth Avenue, or something.

Either way, is it me, or does the guy on the left look like Morn from Star Trek gone bad? If you work it out, drop us a line here on Katze!
Posted by Azundris in English at 10:40 | Comments (8) | Trackbacks (0)
< Coincidence? | Aspice quod felis attraxit! >

Trackbacks
Trackback specific URI for this entry

No Trackbacks

Comments
Display comments as (Linear | Threaded)

*Ah, King Diamond! Those were the days!

"We are gathered here tonight,
to lay to rest Gwenhwyfar La Fey,
whom we now know was first born dead
on the seventh day of July, 1777.
Abigail must be nailed to her coffin with seven silver spikes,
one through each arm, hand, and knee,
and let the last of the seven be drawn through her mouth
so that she may never arise and cause evil again."
#1 Anonymous on 2005-02-01 11:58 (Reply)
*Ahem! One moment here please. We're not going to lay to rest *me*. The original text goes "to lay to rest Abigail La Fey". Hmph.
#1.1 Gwen (Homepage) on 2005-02-06 20:47 (Reply)
*Oops, my bad!
What's with the details, though? That's so un-ENFP! : )

PS Had you stunned there for a second, didn't I? : )
#1.1.1 Azundris (Homepage) on 2005-02-08 13:38 (Reply)
*I wonder where these guys stand in the hierarchy of things:
http://www.brunching.com/images/geekchartbig.gif
#2 Azundris (Homepage) on 2005-02-02 12:00 (Reply)
*I am missing those doods in the list: http://www.c2m.fi/artist.asp?art=494.
Lordi. My favourite on the shit list. Performed together with Tarja in Munich in Jan 2003. I am sure she does regret it :-)
#3 Gwen (Homepage) on 2005-02-06 20:49 (Reply)
*Yeah, the list was sadly incomplete. cf. the King Diamond bit for a start. And those dudes do look weird! (But then, so do Gwar...)
#3.1 Azundris (Homepage) on 2005-02-08 13:35 (Reply)
*There happens to be a sequel:
http://ruthlessreviews.com/top10/10blackmetal2.html
#4 Lalufu on 2005-08-17 01:01 (Reply)
*Oy vey ... this time, there just is no excuse. They knew they'd get shitlisted, and they dressed up all stupid-like, anyway.
#4.1 Azundris (Homepage) on 2005-08-17 02:55 (Reply)
*http://www.boingboing.net/2005/09/20/black_metal_for_dumm.html
#5 Azundris (Homepage) on 2005-10-28 02:16 (Reply)

Add Comment

HTML-Tags will be converted to Entities.
Enclosing asterisks marks text as bold (*word*), underscore are made via _word_.
Gravatar, Pavatar, Favatar, MyBlogLog, Twitter author images supported.
E-Mail addresses will not be displayed and will only be used for E-Mail notifications.

To prevent automated Bots from commentspamming, please enter the string you see in the image below in the appropriate input box. Your comment will only be submitted if the strings match. Please ensure that your browser supports and accepts cookies, or your comment cannot be verified correctly.
CAPTCHA
 
 
©2003-2011 by Azundris