Tatiana Azundris

 
Well, colour me bollocks.

If you wanna bring up both sides of the conversation anyway, get a smegging RealDoll, yo.

Mind, it's not that I don't see a metric shit ton of value in lively communication and understanding, in building rapport and possibly coming up with new stuff. I think the key here is that "no communication" isn't the superlative of "lively communication." Just because you can finish each others' lines doesn't mean you shouldn't be having that conversation in the first place. Keep it real, yo. (If I sound like a wannabe rapper once more, shoot me with a chrome .45.) 'cos not having it would be such a waste of flow, for one thing. And then obviously, communication is the foundation of any relationship that isn't based solely on physical attraction and sex. It's also the thing that sees you through once physical attraction ceases. After all it's easier for most of us to come up with a new and enticing thought every day than with a new and enticing look. ; )

And then as mass media go? You get those weird-ass dominance games and fight fucking (also a bit of a dominance game, but possibly also the result of the thought, violence is exciting, sex is exciting, why not mix the two, bonus!, or maybe it's a result of the mainstreaming of pornography which also seems rather rife with all three). You get movies like Sleepless in Seattle which some argue are little more than glorified stalking, the distinction likely being that while fighting for your love is arguably commendable (and a staple of the genre), there should be a pre-existing relationship. And then romance is so often as uncertainty only — will they, or won't they? In fact, I see that focus in relationships a lot, as if the uncertainty were more important than the thrill of having found someone wonderful and exciting: once the "hunt", the "chase", the uncertainty are over and people are an item, all activity ceases. Of course people get much less attractive that way, and often enough, that seems to spell death for the relationship.

'cause that's what you get when you think you're competing against the other potential mates first and foremost, rather than against who you were when the relationship started, and who you could be. The race is long, and it's also with yourself.

Not that I'd knock the excitement of the first year or two, of course. The overindulgence, the all-night phone calls, the all-night sex, the overwhelming emotion and its sometimes expression in art. The rush, the surge, the blur, that feeling of perfection when it's all new, not routine yet, when you don't know each other enough to see all the little imperfections. I can certainly appreciate those aspects. But the way it's portrayed is like saying that once there is any sort of commitment, that's the end rather than a beginning. And it really doesn't have to be. If you're not a trophy, won and no longer fought for.

Don't be a trophy.

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When trying to call up the page for RealDolls to link to it, instead of typing the correct shortcut, wiki, I typed iki realdoll. Go figure. A lot of truth in typos, I guess.

More to the point, I also looked up their definition of romance, and while it got a lot longer since I last looked, I'm not sure it necessarily got any better. If anything, it's more inconclusive than ever. Interestingly while there, I learned the following facts:
— via romance novels and chick lit: Hamish Macbeth (the novels) were apparently a major influence on chick lit. Damned if I can work that one out from seeing the show.
— via chick lit: there's also "dick lit", and one of its heroes is Chuck Pahluniak (of Fight Club fame). Now I don't know his other stuff, but Fight Club doesn't seem to have a lot of romance, sex, or dicks in it. What does dick lit make, male bonding alone? Wikipedia doesn't say.

On a related note by the by, I'd been thinking for a while that romance might be the female equivalent/opposite of porn, as porn shows unrealistic women, and romance shows unrealistic men. In reality, it's not quite the same, as men become ideal, and women become objects. If that implies that to men the ideal woman is an object, that still says very different things about the two groups. One is uplift, the other degrading.

Finally, I'd also really like a countryman microphone (pictured), but I don't phone from home enough to fix something up. So, if and when I'll make more music again I might. But first things first.